guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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