I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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