batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
