Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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