Whod you bang
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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