I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
