just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
