then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
