What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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