if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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