I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize