The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
