You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
