his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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