Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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