im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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