My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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