its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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