If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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