sorry about calling you the devil all night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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