So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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