Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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