You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
