the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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