I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize