Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
