Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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