I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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