jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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