no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
