I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Drunk is a universal language darling
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