FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
