1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
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My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
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i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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