He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
