The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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