It's Friday. Sex?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
