Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
