just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Im part way to drunk.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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