It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
