On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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