i don't like sucking hair
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
