I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
