remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
