evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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