So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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