So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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