I can tuck mytits in my pants
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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