Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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