shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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