i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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