There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize