That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
