I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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