feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
