Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
