The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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