I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize