would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
