Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
