Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
