your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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