so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
