If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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