Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
