"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
