she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
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Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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