I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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