Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize