Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
