i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
