Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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