Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
