It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
