these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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